The Me Party has exactly one member: you. One platform: your life. One color: the color of the American Dream. Me. Myself. & I.
The official hat. Green, like money. Mind Your Own Business, like your grandfather said.
I don't like the Republicans. I don't like the Democrats. I don't think either one of them wakes up in the morning thinking about my family, my health, my business or my bank account. So I'm starting a party that does.
It's a party of one. You. You can agree with the left on one thing and the right on another, and you don't owe anybody an explanation. You don't have to adopt a whole menu just because you liked one item.
Politics became entertainment. Pick a jersey, boo the other side, tune in tomorrow for the next episode. No thanks. I'd rather worry about what I can actually control: how I treat people, how I raise my kids, how hard I work, and how much I keep.
I love this country. I believe in the American Dream, because I've lived it. Doing the right thing according to how you were raised, taking care of your own, and building something is not selfish. It's the whole point.
Other parties have a 90-page platform nobody reads. Ours fits on a hat.
Nobody in Washington is going to the gym for you. Sleep, move, eat like an adult. The best healthcare plan is not needing one.
Earn it, keep it, grow it. Green is the color of this party for a reason. Nobody's economy matters more than your own.
The only approval rating that counts is at the dinner table. Show up. Be the person your kids think you are.
Build something. Hire somebody. Pay your people. Make a profit without apologizing for it.
Love it. Fly the flag. Expect it to be great and act like it. Patriotism is not a party. It's a default setting.
Foreign policy: mind your own business. Domestic policy: also mind your own business.
A play on the red hats, the blue signs and the entire cable news lineup.
Theirs mean nothing. Ours mean exactly what they say.
The founding principle. Also the hat. Also what your grandmother told you.
The only "great again" project you actually have control over.
Like the G.O.P., but the elephant is you and you're not forgetting anything.
Our official position on who said what on which network last night.
Membership: one. Budget: whatever you decide. Meetings: in the shower.
Two words that describe everything in the house. The shortest platform in American history.
Green, because it's the color of the dream. Everything below is a prototype. Prices are suggestions. Like most campaign promises.
Quick addMoney green. White block letters. Fits every head, unlike the other two parties.
Quick addYou know the hat. This is the version about the one person you can actually improve.
Quick addHeavyweight cotton. Comes in one size: yours.
Quick addStart a conversation at Thanksgiving. Then end it.
Quick addPack of 20. Wear one every day. It's always election day somewhere.
Quick addFinally, a party platform you can stand on. Wipe your feet. Leave the opinions outside.
Quick add100% of donations go directly to the candidate. The candidate is you.
Quick addSet it for anything that isn't working. When it rings, it's gone. Applies to habits, meetings and arguments.
Quick addChanged your mind? Good. That's called thinking. Wear them proudly.
Quick addFill with coffee. Not opinions. Dishwasher safe. Debate proof.
Quick addBig green desk button. Press to end any political conversation. Works at the bar, works at the barbecue.
Quick addMember number one of one. Laminated. Non-transferable. No dues, no meetings, no newsletter.
Nothing is for sale yet. The cart is a joke. The idea isn't. If you'd actually buy one of these, say so below.
We need something iconic, funny, and serious enough for the people who get the joke. Here are the concepts on the table. Pick your favorite. This is the only election we're holding.
The pick, for now. The hand that points at the only candidate it trusts.
The national bird switched parties. He's wearing the hat.
Same eagle, different ring. Mind your own business, in gold.
Every party gets an animal. Ours drinks coffee and doesn't go to rallies.
ME, with the star doing the work. Hat side, favicon, mug.
The most famous poster in American politics, pointed the other way.
Same idea, a little more pleased with himself.
Est. You. For the membership card and anything that needs to look official.
The D.N.C. mascot. Unbothered. Possibly a bear.
One star, one person, one tiny crown.
Rocking chair, flag, business minded. All of it yours.
Look in the mirror. That's the ticket.
One vote per logo per person. Votes are anonymous unless you leave your name in the form below.
No dues. No meetings. No email list. You join by deciding to. Here's the pledge:
It's a joke. It's also a little bit not a joke. Tell me what you think, which slogan you'd actually wear, and what's missing.
